By Elizabeth Cobb, LCSW
There’s one day of the year every single woman dreads… Valentine’s Day! It’s the day that embodies love and glorifies couples, all while making singles feel badly about themselves. If you find yourself single this February 14th, don’t despair! While society sends the message that being single isn’t something to be proud of, it can actually be a wonderful experience of self-discovery. Just think, you can be totally selfish and put yourself first! There’s no compromising about what to watch on TV (Sex and the City or Sports… tough choice), and no dirty socks on the floor or giving up “girls night”. I think everyone should be single for at least a few months of their lives. It’s exciting, and if you embrace the experience, you might learn more about yourself. So instead of lamenting that you’re not out on a date being indulged with flowers, chocolates and dinner, turn Valentine’s Day into a celebration of your own!
Single Girl’s Tips for Surviving Valentines Day
- Have fun!: Sitting alone on Valentine’s Day analyzing your dating disappointments is not healthy. Plan a fun activity with your girlfriends. Fun varies depending on your personality. It could mean inviting girlfriends over for a wine and cheese party, a “girl power” movie, or going out bar hopping. Trust me, there are plenty of single guys out on Valentine’s Day. A friend of mine actually met her husband at a bar on Valentine’s Day!
- Make it about you: Instead of pining over “the one who got away”, celebrate yourself and how amazing you are! Be your own best friend and cheerleader. Don’t underestimate the power of positive self talk/affirmations. You could write down all the reasons why you’re great. You can enlist friends and family if you have trouble coming up with things on your own.
- Put down your phone: Staring at the phone waiting for a call from the guy you’ve been on a few dates with out with a few times could ultimately disappoint you. Try not to have any expectations about someone you just started dating. Stay in the moment and enjoy.
- Treat yourself: Just because you don’t have someone to buy you flowers or a gift doesn’t mean you should miss out. Buy yourself a nice bouquet and a little something special. You’ll probably enjoy the “something special” more because it’s something you actually something you wanted! Valentine’s Day is what you make it. It’s in your power to make it a positive and enjoyable day.
Follow these tips and turn that most dreaded day of the year into lots of fun!
Elizabeth Cobb, LCSW is a therapist in private practice in New York City. If you or a friend need counseling about relationships, improving communication, or other issues please visit cobbpsychotherapy.com.